Relationships are the theme no. 1 in counselling sessions. Today I want give you a look at relationships from a higher, spiritual level and 10 steps up we will reach a new plateau of insight on the role of the partner in modern relationships. A survival guide in a nutshell.

1. Your partner is your mirror.

Most of the spiritual active people know about the so called Law of Attraction (also called the Law of Mirror) what does not hinder a lot of people to ignore it. I also did talk about it for years AND did negate the law in my own relationship. Couldn’t it be, I thought, that it only works for other people, not for me? My relationship must be an exception, I thought – but I just was not able to understand what the mirror told me. Universal laws do not make any exception, not for me, not for you. We sometimes do not take the talk of the mirror for serious, because the truth is so forbidden simple: All the things we love on others are also our talents and inner treasures – and all the things we do not like on the other is a not-loved, not-healed part in our self.

 

2. Your partner recognizes your secret wishes.

Your partner hears the wishes you do not even know by yourself – your subconscious wishes. If on one hand you want closeness and cuddlings with your conscious mind, but your subconscious just wants to be let alone and needs freedom and time for itself - who do you think will win through at the end? The subconscious sends nonverbal signals to your partner, and your partner registrates that with his subconscious. He will fulfill your wishes even if he does not realize what he is doing with his own consciousness.

 

3. Your partner is your auxiliary person.

If it would be so funny to look at all the unhealed, painful inner themes, everybody would do it right away. It is not that bad in my practice to heal the inner unbalance, but there we are also very focused and fast.  It often takes time, a long time, till somebody decides to stand up and look inside and start the healing. Your partner is only your auxiliary person, your helper. He will touch your wounds until you scream “Outch!” and go and heal them.

 

4. Your partner is no barter trade partner.

And if he is, then not for a long time. Because nobody can make this for a long time. If you give me something…. I will give you something. Such contacts work as long as the things given are in balance with the things taken. But what, if one of the partner takes more for himself or gives the other too much attention and care… there we are in the middle of the fight for energy….

 

5. Your partner is no tandem partner.

Tandem cycles look sweet, but it can be very exhausting to go in the same tempo with another person all the time. Inevitably one person defines the speed, even if it looks very harmonical. So you find yourself in some corner lamenting about the partner, who is not developing “as fast as you do”. The truth is: He does. Back to item 1. The pain, the divison comes from the idea to have the same speed all the time, to be a tandem couple…

 

6. Your partner is another person.

On a high spiritual level we are all one. To be able to feel this, we have to BE on this high spiritual level, we have to get there, that means: We have to train our perception and ability for insights and to train this subtle and gentle merging and to enjoy it. To ignore this level and to make a detour into the energetic, the body level or/and mind level brings immense pain onto the earth. Trying to bring unconditional flowing together on this levels hurts, binds, produces intanglement and addictions.

 

7. Your partner is love.

We cannot believe it sometimes but it is this way. The challenge in relationships is to hold the view on the highest possible vision of the partner, of the relationship and of itself. Inistently. Unconditionally. Without expectations. Then the high ideal is materializing. If you loose the view of love your partner will show you his dark side. If you find the view of love again, a wondrous change will happen in your man, your woman. Try it – it even works with plants!

 

8. Your partner is not necessary.

We all love it to be touched, we love closeness and caress, we love togetherness, we love to plan and to experience, to manifest and enjoy together. But it is not necessary to have this togetherness. Often we look for a partner only to escape the needed development of love for ourselves. We will only find a partner, which shows us where we stand at the moment. If we do not love ourselves, we only can find partners letting us miss this love. See item 1. To try to escape the own development to get the missing self-love from the love of another person can only fail. How can somebody else give us what we have to find in ourselves?

 

9. Your partner is without obligation.

If we look very close at the mistakes of our partners and ex-partners, often after years we still can tell a long list of this failures, what he did or she did or what he or she NOT did or said or not said. We hold on. We do not forgive. We are linking the other person energetically onto our system, we are sucking energy from this person and we are loosing energy to this person. We are fixed to this person and then we are wondering why we cannot start a new relationship. To let go the concept of dept, of obligation, which also sometimes contains a concept of power, brings freedom. Freedom to discover the own orders of situations to learn, grow and to heal at last.

 

10. Your partner is free.

If we can not stand freely, independent, if we cannot care for our own needs and wants on very level, we will expect from our partner to give up his freedom. Love as a barter business – your freedom against my freedom. The feeling developing in this jail can feel like security but the missing freedom will ask for a tribute, earlier or later. It is time to give freedom for oneself – and for the partner. That is not explicit about sexual faithfulness, it has mainly to do with the total and clear consciousness about the own needs.

 

The partner is a dancing partner in a dance to be danced together on the life stage. A magical, touching dance can only happen if both know the laws and steps of the dance on all levels – even and most of all the spiritual one. If both of them get involved by heart, open up to listen to the melody leading them, if the man dares to lead, the woman dares to let be leaded and if both of them are ready to see the possible hurting “false” steps onto the foot as own foregone in awareness.

 

I wish you a harmonically dance with yourself…

… that you can dance with the whole creation

 

Christine

 

Who teaches her clients the dancing steps of love and self-love